When I was 12 I thought I knew how my future looked like. I was going to study in Brown university and I was going to be a doctor. I studied and pushed myself in school beyond what was healthy just because I thought that if I didn’t have the grades and I didn’t get myself accepted in an Ivy league school I was blantly destined to fail. My parents constantly told me that it wasn’t the case and that there were many good schools that weren’t in that ranking. I ignored them. The only thing I heard in school was “If you don’t do your homework, you get bad grades, you get bad grades, you are going to go to a crappy college”. I lived, breathed for studying and getting a perfect mark. My grades were phenomenal and my teachers adored my persistence and hard work in class. I was in sixth grade and I was already worried for what my life was going to be in seven years. I continued this way for a couple of years, until I broke down. I was miserable, if I didn’t get a perfect mark I would cry and get frustrated, I thought I was going to lose Brown, I wasn’t going to be a doctor. I wasn’t getting enough rest and I didn’t have a life beyond school. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I stopped. From one day to another I stopped studying like a maniac and began doing things because I wanted to do good, not because I wanted to get a perfect score. My grades might have gone down, but I was happy and I had time for myself and for other activities that I had stopped doing. Reading “Excellent Sheep”, brought a lot of memories to me. I was THAT kid that the author describes, I wanted an Ivy League and I was going to everything so that I could fit the profile that the college wanted. I am now entering the process of applications and to be honest, I am not interested in Brown, and I think I would die before being a doctor. My parents never pushed me to study that hard, and instead encouraged me to follow my own passions and learn to recognise what I like and what I don’t. No one should have the power to decide who or what we are destined to do. If we mold ourselves to fit certain expectations, not only do we lose ourselves, our own unique essence but we live a life of unhappiness because we are not doing what we like. I wanted to be a doctor just because it sounded good, to be honest I still hold my moms hand when I get a vaccine. I have learned that if we are in love with what we do, then, no matter what or why we will succeed but most importantly we will be happy. If we are urged to find our passion for learning, then why are we being pushed into being a cookie cutter shape of what society wants in order for us to fit a prestigious college requirement?
2 Comments
Gabriel Barreto
15/7/2015 02:33:04 am
Very interesting reflection Belen. In my opinion, it it great that you stopped putting 100% of your time in to studying, the only problem is that you lost balance. Life, or at least school, is about juggling many balls at once. Now that you have gotten through that stage of immense pressure, I think that you can now start looking for that balance, specially for university.
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Corey Topf
18/7/2015 11:36:23 pm
Belen, it's shocking how early you started striving for an Ivy League school, probably long before you even knew much about Brown or other universities. But it's clear from "Excellent Sheep" that you're not alone. Some college names carry so much weight and prestige that even from an early age, parents and students become seduced by the idea of going to these schools.
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